Causes of Depression in Men
What if a man cannot meet these expectations? The pressure to succeed may overwhelm him and engender feelings of low self-esteem and helplessness.
Joel heard through the grapevine that his company was merging with its competitor and that there would be massive layoffs. No one knew who would stay and who would be dismissed. He didn’t want to worry his wife so he didn’t say anything. But he would often awaken in the middle of the might feeling anxious and unable to sleep.
There are times when a man feels vulnerable or scared but does not want to admit it. He may feel unproductive or insecure at work; he may question his competence as a husband and father; or he may compare himself to his peers and find himself wanting. Nevertheless –by dint of his nature or societal expectations - he is unlikely to talk about his feelings. He feels that he should be able to solve all of his own problems. Needing help is viewed as a sign of dependency which, in turn, is seen as a weakness. If he has a problem, he tries to hide it.
Meanwhile, no one – not even his wife – understands what is happening. While she may want to talk about the situation, her husband avoids the discussion and resents being nagged about it. He is physically uncomfortable when pushed to discuss these emotional hotbeds. He dreads the possibility that the light will be shined on him and he’ll be “found out.” Indeed, trouble in marriage is consistently linked to depression in one or both partners.
Aging, in particular, challenges a man’s feelings of self-sufficiency and can lead to depression.
Max was doing very well in retirement until his wife passed away. Then he began to withdraw. He didn’t answer phone calls or invitations from old friends and began to lose interest in attending family celebrations. He neglected his hygiene and clothes, didn’t care what he ate and became reticent and withdrawn.
Depression, it is important to note, is not a normal part of aging. On the other hand, the significant losses that occur in the twilight years are keenly felt and may trigger depressive symptoms. Hence, when an older man seems to lack energy or lose his appetite, he may be exhibiting signs of depression.
Finally, a man might think that he’s just “in a bad mood” and will soon snap out of it. While it is true that everyone has times in their lives when they feel irritated or unhappy, depression is deeper and lasts longer. It becomes a thick cloud that darkens one’s entire life. If the depression persists or intensifies, a man can be at risk for more serious complications.
